Theres only one Ronaldo

After todays match Ronaldo is Uniteds top scorer. He is without a doubt one of the best players in the Premiership and very worthy of the number 7 shirt. All the opposition fans boo him but it just makes him play better. Hopefully he will win us the Premiership this season.

Are you ready to have kids?

- Mess Test
Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer.

- Toy Test
Obtain a 55 gallon box of Legos (you may substitute roofing tacks if you wish). Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold and take off shoes. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream because this would wake a child at night.

- Grocery Store Test
Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you as you shop. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.- Dressing TestObtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net bag making sure that all the arms stay inside.

- Feeding Test
Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend from the ceiling with a cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal into the mouth of the jug, while pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the contents of the jug on the floor.

- Night Test
Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8-12 pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 3:00pm, begin to waltz and hum with the bag until 9:00pm. Lay down your bag and set your alarm for 10:00pm. Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever heard. Make up about a dozen more and sing these too until 4:00am. Set alarm for 5:00am. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.

- Ingenuity Test
Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and pot of paint, turn it into an alligator. Now take a toilet paper tube and turn it into an attractive Christmas candle. Use only scotch tape and a piece of foil. Last, take a milk carton, a ping-pong ball, and an empty box of Cocoa Puffs. Make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower.

- Automobile Test
Forget the BMW and buy a station wagon. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there. Get a dime. Stick it into the CD player. Take a family-size package of chocolate chip cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Run a rake along both side of the car. There, perfect!

- Physical Test
(Women)Obtain a large bean bag chair and attach it to the front of your clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Then remove the beans. And try not to notice your closet full of clothes. You won’t be wearing them for a while.

- Physical Test
(Men)Go to the nearest drug store. Set your wallet on the counter. Ask the clerk to help himself. Now proceed to the nearest food store. Go to the head office and arrange for your paycheck to be directly deposited to the store. Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time.

- Final Assignment
Find a couple who already has a small child. Lecture them on how they can improve their discipline, patience, tolerance, and toilet training and child’s table manners. Suggest many ways they can improve. Emphasize to them that they should never allow their children to run wild. Enjoy this experience. It will be the last time you will have all the answers.

10%

I got my 10% keyring from Weightwatchers which means I have officially lost 10% of my body weight. Yipee!

Gotta work hard this Christmas.

Gerrard Dives

Proof Liverpool are cheats so all the Liverpool fans can now shut up about Ronaldo.

Good week really

Well after my big moan the other day I got on the scales at Weight Watchers and discovered I have lost 3 pounds. Yippeee!! Thats 17 altogether in 11 weeks. Its made me feel a lot better about myself.

Hmmmm this is trying to tell me to visit Hawaii!

American Cities That Best Fit You::

75% Honolulu

60% San Diego

60% San Francisco

55% Atlanta

55% Las Vegas

Which American Cities Best Fit You?

I'm so fat!!!

Ok I was looking at Steve and Karens wedding pics (very nice btw). I saw one pic with me in it and just thought WTF??? I know I got fat. I mean a size 16 is huge. I just forget sometimes. Why does this discourage me? I just passed me stone mark at Weight Watchers and very near my 10% weight loss. So why do I now feel like eating everything in the cupboards.

Obviously its a good thing I hate mirrors and photos.

Wish I could go for runs etc but not good for the heart. Time to get back on the push bike to encourage the weight loss. It gets harder the more I loose. I think the body gets used to it. I still aim for 2 pounds a week and have stuck fairly close to it.

Torquay United to sack players for diving

This is such a great idea. The rest of the league should start this rule.

LONDON (Reuters) - Fourth division club Torquay United said on Tuesday they will start taking disciplinary action against any of their players who dive or feign injury.

Torquay, who believe they are the first professional club in the world to begin such an initiative, will operate a "three strikes and out" policy and use video technology to prove cases.

First time offenders will be warned, players who dive again will be fined and third time offenders sacked or placed on the transfer list.

"British football has the opportunity to take a lead in resolving this major issue which is tarnishing our sport and marred the World Cup finals in Germany 2006," Torquay chairman Chris Roberts said in a statement.

OLE IS A LEGEND

You are my Solskjaer,
my Ole Solskjaer,
You make me happy,
when skies are grey,
Oh Alan Shearer,
was f*ckin dearer,
please don't take,
my Solskjaer away!

Who put the ball in the Germans' net
Who put the ball in the Germans' net
Who put the ball in the Germans' net
Ole Gunnar Solskjaer

Gary Neville

Gary Neville is a red
Is a red
Is a red
Gary Neville is a red
He hates scousers

Cheating Scots!!!

Free kick from nothing.

Hanging around in the penalty area when a penalty is being taken.

Thomas Graveson (no need to say anything more about that banker).

If Celtic didnt have the ref on side there is no way they would have won.

It does show the need for technology in the game. It would have been a totally different outcome.

Scottish football will never be as good as Premiership because they are crap when they dont have the ref on side.

If we come second that will be a good thing anyway because Barca will be second (results depending) so it would be better to face a 1st team than a 2nd.

Although maybe we could send the Scousers up there. Mid table SPL is higher than mid table Premiership.

I suppose when all is going bad I can just look at Liverpool and laugh laugh laugh.

Bring on Chelski!!!

Vote for Barney

Please vote for Barney in the funny face category

Please vote for Barney at The 2nd Annual World’s Coolest Dog & Cat Show

Lost

I have been watching season 3 and now its on its 13 week break!

What on earth am I meant to do till Febuary 7th?

Cat Blog

My cats how have their own blog.

Feel free to visit. They will update them when they can.

Scratch your own badge
Visit my family

Weight Watchers

Well I joined them a few weeks ago.

Not done too bad so far. 10 and a half pounds lost. Ideally I would like to be a size 10 again but would settle for a size 12. I just decided that I was not happy with my weight anymore and now my health is a bit better I can actually do something about it.

Following the diet is actually really easy. I was worried that everyone there would be really really fat but actually there are so many people that dont have too much to lose so I dont feel the thinest there and not the fattest either.

Only bad part is none of my clothes fit me anymore. I never kept any of my size 14s so I am stuck with trousers that are a little too large for the moment. In a few weeks hopefully they can be thrown out!

I was in Portsmouth this weekend watching Level 42 which was really good.

I thought I would post a couple of pics I took of the Spinnaker Tower. It was a foggy day but still got a few good pics.

Wake me up when September ends

Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
Wake me up when September ends

Like my father's come to pass
Seven years has gone so fast
Wake me up when September ends

Here comes the rain again
Falling from the stars

Drenched in my pain again
Becoming who we are

As my memory rests
But never forgets what I lost

Wake me up when Septmber ends

Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
Wake me up when Septmber ends

Ring out the bells again
Like we did when spring began

Wake me up when septmber ends

Here comes the rain again
Falling from the stars

Drenched in my pain again
Becoming who we are

As my memory rests
But never forgets what I lost

Wake me up when septmber ends

Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
Wake me up when Septmber ends

Like my father's come to pass
Twenty years has gone so fast
Wake me up when September ends

Ole is back

Ole Gunnar Solskjaer scored for the first time in 3 seasons. Fantastic! After all those injuries its just fantastic. Another game more goals! We have now scored 8 goals in two games and are two points clear at the top of the table.

What a great night of football.

Roy Keane taking over the Sunderland job is interesting. I believe its a great appointment. Hopefully it will turn their fortunes around.

Top of the table

While we are top of the table I thought it would be worth gloating!!!!

Great win over Fulham. Hopefully the rest of the season will go just as well!

Lost

Lost is without a doubt the best show on tv. I love the plot twists and the men are pretty nice too!

My initial thoughts on the island was all the characters died in the plane crash but that has been disproved now. Oh well.

There are so many great tv shows at the moment. I thought when Friends/Angel/Buffy finished nothing could replace then. But now I have Family Guy/Lost/Desperate Housewives/King of the Hill. Sad I know but I love those shows.

Back to real life. Tilly is clawing the carpets at the moment. I am not to sure how to get her to stop. Its just a phase and she will grow out of it but will the carpets last the phase. Any tips gladly received. Cats dont understand being told off. Probably because they think that they are to good to be told off.